The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize