is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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