You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize