So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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