I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So much rum. So many feels.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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