Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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