I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
