when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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