her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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