rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
