I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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