Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize