Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
