I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The ass gains better be worth it
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