I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
