He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
