It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
