$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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