the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
