are you still at the devil's house?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
