Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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