we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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