His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
