Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
whose parrot is this?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
