I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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