all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
