Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
