Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
