I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Are we still banned from the library?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
