you guys were way drunker than both of me
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
