9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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