Apparently you make a good broom.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
please come you make the beer taste better
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
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