Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
