he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
