My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
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Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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