Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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