LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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