that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
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I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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