I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
