This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think my mom watched the whole time
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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