nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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