Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
