i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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