You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
