U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
