Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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