so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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