i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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