been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
do nipples grow back?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
