either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
