They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
