Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
