Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
