so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
