i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
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