Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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