Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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