My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
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Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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