He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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