party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
