i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
