We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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