I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
