Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
